11/10: Lancia Thema 8.32 by Ferrari. This one goes to 11.
The Thema 8.32 breaks the scale because the mismatch is not merely between purpose and execution. It is between every component of its identity. Most readers outside Europe have never seen a Lancia. Once a storied Italian marque famous for improbable engineering, improbable rally wins, and an even more improbable ability to lose money, Lancia’s legend includes the day in 1955 when it was forced to sell its entire Formula One operation, including cars, spares, and blueprints, to Ferrari just to stay afloat. Today, the brand survives mostly as a badge-engineering exercise and a memory with better steering feel. If you have heard of the modern Lancia Thema at all, it is probably the tragic 2011 model: a Chrysler 300 with Italian lipstick.
But in the 1980s, Lancia was off the leash. After many rounds of grappa and perhaps some psychedelics, a deal was struck with Saab. Yes, Saab. Lancia’s corporate parent Fiat, its cousin Alfa Romeo, and, for reasons still best approached with a cold towel, Saab of Sweden, partnered to build an all-new executive car on the Type Four platform. Saab insisted on rustproofing and crash safety. Alfa wanted handling. Fiat wanted sales. Lancia, which clearly should not be left unsupervised, decided the platform really needed a Ferrari V8.
A Ferrari V8 in an Italianized Saab. Let us suspend disbelief and pull this thread. It gets stranger. Lancia’s engineers, in what must be the boldest stroke of automotive bravado since Ferruccio Lamborghini said vaffanculo to Il Commendatore himself, demanded changes. The Ferrari flat-plane crank was replaced with a cross-plane crank, muting the signature Ferrari wail and reducing the redline from 7,700 rpm in the Ferrari 328 to 6,800 rpm in the Thema 8.32.
It does not end there. Lancia did not order Ferrari to make those changes at Maranello. Ferrari was busy building 328s, Mondials, Testarossas, and 288 GTOs. So the marching orders went to Ducati, the motorcycle manufacturer.
The result was a 212-horsepower cross-plane V8, mounted transversely as in the 328 and Mondial, but up front, powering the front wheels. Inside, you got Poltrona Frau leather and lots of real wood. Out back, you got the industry’s first electrical pop-up rear spoiler. Early cars wore an “8.32 by Ferrari” badge on the dash, until someone in Modena realized the punchline might be directed at them. Enzo Ferrari himself gave 8.32s to Scuderia drivers as company perks: “Here’s a Saab, by way of Lancia, with a Ferrari V8, Ducati’s fingerprints, and a 10% off coupon for your first timing-belt service, three months from now.” Maintenance was relentless, depreciation was a cliff, and the badge discreet enough that only true spotters could identify the Frankenstein in the street.
Raise the spoiler, dust a Porsche 944S, and try to explain to your neighbor that it is part Saab, part Ferrari, and part Ducati, but all Lancia. As for the 2011 Thema, imagine an alternate universe with a nuovo-8.32, this time with a contemporary Ferrari V8 from a California T. Canada builds it, Lancia badges it, Ferrari tunes it. At least it would not need a belt service, because this particular fever dream’s Ferrari V8 has a timing chain.
-eᴍ